Photography by Savan Photography

When I first started Delovely Details, it was my business. It started out as a hobby but quickly grew. As it grew, it no longer was my business, but also Drew’s. Drew is 100% my partner in this. I would not be able to do any of this without him. While he also has a regular day job, he spends a lot of his nights and weekends helping me manage everything. The impact our business has had on our marriage has been a surprise in many ways.

1. Communication

Drew and I have always been great at communicating with each other. I’m sure sometimes he’d agree that maybe I communicate “too well”. However, I find that it’s been a big strength in not just our marriage, but also in working together professionally. Most business owners will say, “time is money” and so we try not to spend a lot of time beating around the bush. We can be very direct with each other. It can be hard to hear, and even harder to leave it at the door when we are home sometimes. Whether it be a problem with a design, how to handle a customer, accounting; we both are always more interested in solving the problem than exacerbating it with complicated dialogue.

2. Compromise

We both are big idea, creative, and passionate people; which can make compromising extremely hard if I am being honest. This is something we both regularly have to check ourselves with and something we both can probably get a little better at. One thing that has helped us is to have our main goals (for business and home life) clear and sometimes even visible. That way, when we are struggling to make compromises, we can look at our main goal and revert back to it to see if our compromise will help direct us to that main goal. If we have goals for our family, goals for the business, and goals for our marriage, it can help us make the RIGHT choices (most of the time anyways). The more we’ve compromised with the business side of things, the easier I find compromise is on the family side.

3. Partnership

I’ve been with Drew since 2001. We’ve known each other since we were basically kids. We’ve been each other’s support systems, cheerleaders, and back up for quite a bit of time now. When I started this business, it was mine. However, because Drew is my biggest support, it wasn’t long before he jumped in to help me. It was just his nature to do so. With that, I have a trusted partner in my business. I trust that he will do what is in the best interest for my company and therefore our family. I also respect him and he respects me. This makes delegating work very easy. It’s also great for our marriage in that the business only helps us further trust in each other.

4. Work-Life Balance

We struggle with this big time. It’s one of the biggest downsides that our business has been for our marriage. Even though we regularly make goals of changing it, somehow it never seems to happen. We both work 24/7. When we take date nights, we usually end up talking about the business. It’s really hard to completely turn off work when your spouse and you are both working for the same company. I can’t remember the last time we didn’t look at our emails for an entire weekend. We’ve never shut down our shop for a holiday or vacation. This is not ideal or healthy and we are constantly fighting off burnout mode. Having weekends be work-free is a dream of ours though, and while it sometimes seems impossible, we are both constantly working towards that goal. I am grateful however, that if I am going to be working on a Saturday, at least it is with my husband and my daughter can be with us both still.

5.  Disagreements

We are far from the perfect couple or business partners. We disagree, we argue, we can even hold grudges. However, sometimes if we have a fight about family life, it doesn’t mean that the business doesn’t have a deadline the next day. Or sometimes, we will disagree over a business matter, and then we have to go to dinner with each other’s families. So while we may want space from each other, it’s usually impossible and that can be frustrating. We’ve learned to compartmentalize a lot of our issues to get through commitments and then we find time to discuss them and work through them. I think at the end of the day, most times, we both understand that our disagreements are usually a small pebble in our journey and not worth more energy than necessary. We both also respect each other’s feelings if we just can’t get past things and might need to just be frustrated for a little bit.

Photography by Savan Photography

 This is how Delovely Details has impacted our marriage, it isn’t all good and it isn’t all bad. For better or for worse though, I think we would still choose this road. It has been far more fulfilling than not and we both feel that the business has overall strengthened our marriage. Is owning a business within a marriage for everyone? No. I’m actually quite surprised how well our marriage has adapted to it. Like most things that impact a marriage, if you’ve built your marriage on a strong foundation, it’s usually capable of weathering any storm. Our marriage is built of faith, love, trust, and empathy. So far, we’ve gotten through every storm we’ve had come our way. And believe me when I say, we’ve had our share!

I have been so excited about holidays now that Evelyn is a little older. To be honest, I am not a fan of the typical holiday season (Halloween - Christmas). Plus, my dad passed around Christmas. I do love all the holidays other holidays (New Years Eve - Fourth of July). They are just less stressful. No months of prep and making huge plans, no excess travel among the masses, etc. However, this year, the idea of seeing these holidays through Evelyn’s eyes has me more excited for them than I usually am.

I think most moms want traditions for their children. I remember the same reindeer bean bag dolls coming out every year at Christmas time, the same Frankenstein paper decor at Halloween, and of course, the fan turkey centerpiece at Thanksgiving. I don’t remember when I stopped caring about those decorations, but I do remember them every year and I want that for Evelyn.

This is a great “test run” year for us. She’s much more aware of things but if we try some things that don’t work out, she won’t remember next year.

One tradition I’d love to start with her is a visit to the Irvine Regional Park Pumpkin Patch. I actually have taken her a few times since it’s free and it keeps her entertained. While I love this pumpkin patch, I don’t love the crowds it creates as we get closer to Halloween. I highly recommend checking this place out in early October. You can go to the pumpkin patch, ride the train and visit the OC Zoo for a few more dollars. It’s a full day and its inexpensive, unless you buy all your pumpkins there. We hit up Trader Joe’s on the way home. Next year Evelyn will be able to play more of the games and enjoy the animals a little more.

The next event we did, that will for sure become a Halloween tradition for us, was visit the City of Orange’s Treats in the Street event. We don’t live in Orange, but this event made me want to move there. First, it was free which is crazy to me. Irvine had an event at the Great Park that we paid $5 for and it was such a waste of time that I won’t even bother writing about it and we took a few awful photos and that was it. This event in Orange was just awesome. We got there right at 4PM and parking was already getting busy. After about an hour of Trick or Treating at the local stores, Evelyn had the whole concept figured out. She had a good stash and so we grabbed some dinner. When we got out of the restaurant, it was packed and almost every store had a line to get some candy. So we decided to just check out some of the booths and watch some of the shows and let Evelyn do what Evelyn does best, draw a crowd.

I love how quickly this kid caught onto, “go to a stranger and take some candy.” We did practice at the house beforehand and I told her she had to knock on the door. So regardless of where the person who was actually handing out candy was sitting/standing…Evelyn would walk up to the door and knock and then go grab candy. We let her try to eat a few pieces of candy but she wanted no part of it. No clue where she gets that self control.

I can’t say enough of the Treats in the Streets though. It was a great experience for us, who are unfamiliar with the area. I definitely see us heading back there to shop those stores, grab a bite to eat and celebrate other community events there.

If you can’t tell, she is a Witch this Halloween. However, so far she has given the hat a hard “NO”.

Watching Evelyn learn how to Trick or Treat, watching her reaction to seeing other people in costumes (ask me about what she did when she saw another little girl dressed as Elmo), seeing her face explore the decorations on some local haunted houses, and her and her daddy carving her own pumpkin has been way more special than I anticipated. I am very wary but I’m starting to have some hope for the rest of the holidays.

I can’t wait to see how she does on the actual Halloween night. We are going to let her stay up a little late and answer the door for a few trick-or-treaters. My guess is that will be her favorite part.

Evelyn’s Pajamas are from Carters available at Amazon.

Her Halloween tote is from Little Partridge on Etsy. (She’s currently closed but maybe email her and ask pretty please!)

This post contains some affiliated links, however I wouldn’t recommend anything I don’t feel I don’t already love!

Evelyn's bow is from Loved by Sophia Claire & her onsie is from Jean & June

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I panicked about how to find a balance between the "family life" I wanted my child to have and the business that had become my other "baby". For years, I had put my all into my company but I knew that things were going to have to change. I figured I would work to create a balance and we would all live happily ever after.

Looking back on it, I was pretty naive about the whole thing. There is a reason there are a million books, TV specials, podcasts, and a bazillion other blog posts dedicated to women trying to find a balance. For me, at this point in our journey, I've decided there is no balance. It's awful to hear that I'm sure, but realizing that there was no "balanced life" to chase anymore has been incredibly freeing to me. 

I've realized that the days of going to bed at midnight aren't even close to being over. Even though Evelyn has slept through most nights from 12 weeks, my work is what keeps us up till the wee hours in the morning. And that's not going to change anytime soon. Just like Evelyn's 7AM wake up call in the morning. 

There are going to be some days where I'm going to be a better mom than a business woman, just like there are going to be days where I'm a kick-ass business woman and a minimally patient mom. But what I have decided, is that I will be intentional about my time. 

When I am with my daughter, I will be dedicated to making that time "quality time" with her. I won't be checking my cell phone while she's distracted, I won't be answering emails while she eats her lunch. I will be there to soak it all up and let her know that for that moment, I am all hers. 

Unfortunately, there are times where I can't be that. It's sucky to write that and I wish I could always be there. But I have also realized that by pursuing my dreams and showing her what determination and dedication looks like, it's beneficial for her too. Even though, let's be real, it won't always feel like that. But, just like I said earlier, I am going be intentional with my time in my business as well. I am working to become more streamline, more efficient and more organized. I am also limiting the amount of projects I take on that don't directly impact my business positively. 

My time has always been valuable but now that I have Evelyn, where every day, hour, minute seems like she's growing in front of my eyes, it's invaluable. I want to be a good mother but I can't kill myself trying to be a perfect mom and a perfect business woman 24 hours a day because I won't do well at either if I try that.

If you are a business owner and momma, how are you handling the "balance". Anyone have any tips?